The Twelve Days of Christmas - Property Management style

I received this by email from EBM Insurance brokers, thought it was quite clever and that everyone might enjoy it.


On the first day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
My property had a vacancy.

On the second day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
My tenants did a runner,
That’s why my property has a vacancy.

On the third day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
They hadn’t paid the rent,
And then they did a runner,
So my property has a vacancy.

On the fourth day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
They’ve taken all the blinds,
And hadn’t paid the rent,
That’s why they did a runner,
Which has now left me with a vacancy.

On the fifth day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
They’d plugged up all the drainholes,
As well as pinched the blinds,
And they hadn’t paid the rent,
Which is why they did a runner,
And has now left me with a vacancy.

On the sixth day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
They turned on all the taps,
After plugging all the drain holes,
As well as pinched the blinds,
And they hadn’t paid the rent,
Which is why they did a runner,
And have left me with this rotten vacancy. On the seventh day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
The place filled up like a pool,
‘cos they turned on all the taps,
After plugging all the drain holes,
As well as pinched the blinds,
And they hadn’t paid the rent,
Which is why they did a runner,
And I can’t believe I have this vacancy.

On the eighth day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
The damage is horrendous,
As it filled up like a pool,
When they turned on all the taps,
After plugging all the drain holes,
As well as pinching all the blinds,
And they hadn’t paid the rent,
Which is why they did a runner,
And now I have this silly vacancy.

On the ninth day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
Lucky you have insurance,
‘cos the damage is horrendous,
As it filled up like a pool,
When they turned on all the taps,
After plugging all the drain holes,
As well as pinching all the blinds,
And they hadn’t paid the rent,
Which is why they did a runner,
And I also have this stupid vacancy.

On the tenth day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
We’ve filled out all the forms,
It was lucky for insurance,
‘cos the damage is a nightmare, From it filling like a pool,
When they turned on all the taps,
After plugging all the drain holes,
As well as pinching all the blinds,
And they hadn’t paid the rent,
Which is why they did a runner,
And I hope it also covers the vacancy.

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
RentCover to the rescue,
They’ve approved all of your claim,
It was lucky for insurance,
‘cos the damage is a nightmare,
From it filling like a pool,
When they turned on all the taps,
After plugging all the drain holes,
As well as pinching all the blinds,
And they hadn’t paid the rent,
Which is why they did a runner,
And they even said it covers the vacancy.


On the twelfth day of Christmas
my agent said to me:
Have a lovely Christmas
Your loss is now all covered,
RentCover’s paid the bills,
It was lucky for insurance,
‘cos the damage was a nightmare,
From it filling like a pool,
When they turned on all the taps,
After plugging all the drain holes,
You will now get all new blinds,
And the rent it is all covered,
Even though they did a runner,
So no need to worry ‘bout a vacancy.